Giving Counsellors Guidance
I began talking to trainee counsellors about parental issues and those considering coming out. I always enjoyed this.
However, one day, I just started giving my talk, and one of the counsellors folded her arms and sat back in her chair. I was perplexed but not sure what I had said wrong, so I continued.
Then, a few weeks later, I saw the same woman, and she rushed towards me, gave me a big hug and talked about me in the most glowing manner. I couldn’t help myself; I said, “Excuse Me”, and asked her about her tone a few weeks earlier. She said, “Oh, you hit every button; it was as if you had been talking to my family.”
I gave a few talks to Lifeline Counsellors and LGBTQIA+ counsellors especially about the parental issues. And one day to a group of psychologists, which surprised me.
Anti-Discrimination Commission
We took the Catholic Leader to the Anti-Discrimination Commission over a derogatory newspaper article about lesbians, gays and their parents. The article was adamant that lesbian and gay people came from dysfunctional families, with poor parenting skills and from low socio-economic areas. Additionally, they had probably been sexually abused. PFLAG won the dispute and was given equal space in the paper to promote PFLAG.
Turtle Cove Resort
I was asked to do workshops at Turtle Cove, an LGBTQIA+ resort in North Qld. These were always fun, and I always took Meryl, another mum, with me for company.
Meryl never let me down; she was totally innocent and never politically correct. One day, she asked a guest if he was gay because she thought he didn’t “look” gay. Initially, he was angry but soon realised she was naive. Another day, we were in the spa with the manager, and Meryl found a rubber ring. She kept asking what it was. I kept telling her I would tell her later, but eventually, I gave up and told her. She was quiet for a while, trying to absorb what she was told. It was a cock ring.
National Conference
Brisbane PFLAG hosted the 3rd National Conference in 2007. We held it at the Convention Centre in Brisbane, and the only cost to those attending was the catering, which was over two days. Attendees stayed at the Rydge’s Hotel, and on a Saturday night, we all went to the Turkish Restaurant, Ahmets for dinner.
We had Paul Martin, a psychologist, speak; Rodney Croome, an activist; and Ross Daniels, world president of Amnesty, give a talk, to name just a few. Every speaker was given a gift, and parking was paid, or as in Rodney’s case, his flight was paid.
From this event, I was unanimously voted National Spokesperson for PFLAG, which, as stated earlier, was a position I then held for twelve years. This role gave me access to many people, for which I was genuinely thankful. I don’t know if I would have had the same success if I hadn’t been given that role.
The parents I met were caring people. I have always believed one-third don’t care if their child is gay or lesbian, one-third will never be supportive and one-third, the group I met, struggled but wanted to understand. So, they came to PFLAG looking for answers and support.
Fund Raising Recipient
The Wickham Hotel “Big Gay Day” made us one of their fundraising recipients, which was great. The only requirement was that we have a certain number of volunteers.
We had a couple of reluctant Dads who were encouraged to come along and be part of the day. It was so funny; the young ones loved them and made a huge fuss of them. And the two dads had such a great time that we had trouble getting them to go home.
The Sportsmans Hotel, as mentioned earlier, made us a recipient of their “Great Bake Off” which was a well-established annual fundraising event. And in 2008 we received $8,000 so the decision was made to summarise ‘Sexuality is not a Choice’ and we then had it translated into 16 different languages. The Institute of Modern Languages did the translations. From this, PFLAG received over 10,000 online hits a month.
Copies can be found on the PFLAG website here.
Mobile Phone Helpline
I decided we needed a mobile phone so parents seeking support could receive help at most times of the day. Additionally, I got several calls from journalists and anyone wanting to talk to me regarding campaigns or my opinion on a topic. The second phone also helped to keep my number personal.
The phone became very important because I was only at the PFLAG office at QUAC two days a week, so in the end, the phone became a lifeline.
The only problem I ever had was a woman who called me at 11:30 pm several times, so I decided to contact her at 5:30 pm. When she answered the phone, she told me she was busy, but I suggested if she was concerned about her child, the time was good to talk because at 11:30 pm I was asleep. Her problem was that at 5.30, she wasn’t tipsy, but at 11:30, she was a little more than tipsy.
Unexpected Publicity for PFLAG
PFLAG was included in an LGBTQIA+ exhibition at Brisbane City Hall. The whole event was a landmark event, and then for us to be included showed how we were valued in the State.
In 2011, The Women’s Weekly did a big story on PFLAG and some of the parents. It certainly gave us positive publicity and created a lot of interest from parents dealing with coming out issues of their children.
